Cape Town Series: Spending Time with Our Friends, the Ashlee’s

When I first sat down to write this post, I was thinking about writing about the activities we did with our dear friends. But something didn’t sit quite right with me. Upon further reflection, it donned on me that it wasn’t what we did that mattered to me; it was simply the time spent together that mattered so much. Michelle and I are fortunate to have many people in our lives that we hold close to our hearts. While there are people here in South Africa who are quickly making space for themselves in our hearts, Michelle and I left family and friends back in the US who we miss dearly. Two of them are Kyle and Aeriel Ashlee.

Kyle, Aeriel, Michelle, and Joe on the Summit of Table Mountain

Quick Background
Fun fact: two out of the last three times I saw Kyle Ashlee have been in countries other than the US.

Kyle, Michelle, and I all met in graduate school. Kyle and Michelle overlapped in graduate school by a year, but I came to know Kyle better when I completed an internship in Switzerland a year later where he was working at the university. The next time Michelle and I saw Kyle was at his wedding where we met Aeriel, his partner.

Kyle and Aeriel

Back to the Story
It was about October last year when I got an email from Kyle saying he and Aeriel had gotten accepted to be resident directors aboard the MV Explorer with the Semester at Sea program. Even better, one of their ports was going to be Cape Town. Seeing this, I read the rest of his email rapidly to see when they were going to be in country. As it turned out, they were going to be in South Africa during Michelle’s and my April break from school. Perfect!

Michelle and I met up with Kyle and Aeriel after spending 24 hours riding a bus from Durban to Cape Town. It is perfectly reasonable to think that we were tired after such a journey, but Michelle and I were filled with too much excitement to feel the fatigue. We decided to meet at the harbor before heading off to dinner. From my vantage point in the car, I spotted Aeriel first. Exiting the car, I saw Kyle next. It felt really good to see their bright, smiling faces. After hugging hello, we piled into the car and drove to the restaurant.

Over the next couple of days, Michelle and I got to do many things with Kyle and Aeriel. We sampled beers at a beer hall, hiked Table Mountain, rode in a cable car, toured a winery, and got to see their living/working accommodations on their ship.

Kyle Mid-Hike on Table Mountain

Groot Constantia Vineyard

Wine and Chocolate Pairing

Aeriel, Michelle, Kyle, and Joe Aboard the MV Explorer

The Significance
Being able to spend such quality time with Kyle and Aeriel was a gift. There’s something about being able to see friends we’ve known for a long time. It’s a comfort that comes from having shared experiences and a language for talking with one another (all four of us work in higher education, connect on shared values, and enjoy deep conversations about life and meaning). We reminisced about various memories, dove into deep discussions about making a difference in the world, laughed about silly things, and speculated about what the future holds. From the moment we first met up to the last time we said goodbye, I don’t think there was a moment when we weren’t talking. We had lots of conversations and shared many laughs. After it was over, it was clear that we had been yearning for that level of connection and comfort for quite some time. It served as a powerful reminder of how much these relationships mean to us.

Enjoying Delightful Conversation

Lately, Michelle and I have been talking about where we want to live when we return to the US after we finish with our service. A large part of the conversation pertains to the people we want near us: family and friends. We are blessed with loving and supportive families. We have friends who will be by our side through thick and thin—the kind that lend a hand when you need help moving and lend their hearts when yours is hurting. The trouble we’re facing is that our families and friends are scattered throughout the country. Should we live in Ohio, Louisiana, Washington, or somewhere in between those places? How can we possibly choose between them all?

With about 18 more months until after service closes, we have time to think about what choices we will make. In the meantime, we just want to thank those who we hold dearest, like the Ashlee’s, for the intangible gifts they have given us over the years: encouragement to go further, asking us tough questions, providing connection, meaning, and complexity to our world, and—of course—their patience as we stumble through and figure out our lives. Siyanikhumbula (we miss and remember you).

"A Person is a Person Through Other People"

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To read more about Kyle and Aeriel’s experience, you can visit their blog here.